What is this you ask? Taking care of yourself first! It is the number one change that will dramatically change all conditions in your life. A challenge, yes, especially as a woman for we seem to easily serve others above ourselves. That doesn't negate the fact that if we fuel ourselves first, our life will transform, our health will excel, our beauty will be enhanced, our stress lowered. our joy lifted. Indulge yourself so you can be filled!
I, too, am on this journey to expand my health and life by using this elixir! My ministry is about this very thing, self ministery, aka self indulgence. Not in a negative way of escapism, but a positive way of self honor. I am very masterful at supporting and helping others. To my own demise often so this is a rule I play with and it does challenge me. None the less, I continue to make tracks, overcome outdated belief systems and truly find more joy and beauty in all parts of myself and my life. So I inspire you to go on journey with this practice as well. Incremental change is how we shift so do small doses until this is a new habit in your life. As woman, it is indeed the way we have greatest power for we are fulfilled and we overflow naturally.
How do I do this? I check inwardly if I can support others when the call comes in. Many parts of me are screaming often with my empathic nature to help yet I see if I feel delighted or obligated or trained to say yes. In this question alone, I find the truth of whether it is highest good which includes me and my highest good. I have walked through guilt for moments but then let that go knowing serving is best done with a full heart. Otherwise resentment and expectation can come in and then I am not truly helping at all.
I consider myself first as I start my day imagining a good day, a happy day so I make sure there are things in it that delight me and relax me. I put ideas of these first in the morning so I am more likely to do them. Maybe it is a walk in the woods that no matter what occurs, I will do this for myself. A bike ride or a meditation rest. Maybe it is connecting with others so I make sure I do it and not allow others needs to allow me to cancel. It may be writing or helping another for it will make me feel good. I have an ongoing list of those things big and small that I put into my day to relax myself. It maybe as simple as dancing to a great song. Either way, I am certain to do at least 2 things, my goal is 5, that satisfy just me!
When I get overwhelmed or feel panicked, I take 5. I have learned not to continue forward in this energy. Things get worse, it is the law of energy. Panic will increase, error will continue and then I have a larger mess than the initial overwhelm. I step outside, I take deep breathes, I sit down and cool down. This is a powerful easy way to stop the craziness that works. I am the creator and creation in panic is negative in result. I heed this take 5 rule. There is great self honor and care in resetting yourself throughout your day!
I take the best plate or piece of cake or whatever I am serving for myself!! Yes this creates amazing challenge to our beliefs! Yet I do it anyway for it honors me deeply. Why shouldn't I get the best half of the bagel? I do this at least once a week! It is nice to give the best to others only if it is balanced with giving to yourself. I like this practice most and watch the guilt and undoing of my training most here. It is quite funny and I feel like a princess! No one else notices and I honor the me that wants the best!
I flow with the moment and decide as I go. Often we say we will do something then later regret it. I often let people know if I am not sure how I will feel so I can keep things open. Just incase something more honoring of me rather than obligated to another or plans I made when I felt different comes up. We overbook ourselves and as my friend Bob would say," I gotta feel it!" For those things that have that flexibility, I take it. Do remember often we dread doing something and then it turns out great that we were forced to go, so use this one wisely.
Of course we need to remember the word "no" I am unable to right now!!!!! That could be a whole blog! You must be queen of your domain and know when you can help and when doing so will stress you. We all know this and people understand and will find someone else. You are not the only savior around, there are other woman! Teehee! If there is no one else, remember that often we are to manage situations on our own sometimes and that brings the greatest healing. Don't sacrifice yourself for another! It doesn't help either!
I truly look for ways each day to inspire my sensuality, my senses! This alone fuels our feminine, nourishing side for ourselves so we can serve others in loving. I really notice the things, nature's beauty around me. I use essential oils for each has a different quality it stimulates in the brain and enhances our moods. Scent such a healer. I indulge in quality food pleasures in small doses like Owow Cow organic ice cream, great olives or a good piece of chocolate and really savor and taste it. Not often but when I do, I am in full pleasure and full indulgence! This supports me in health! I use music to elevate my mood, a shaman tool. I can easily get happy playing a great tune and move to it better yet. I give myself Jin Shin self care, a Japanese practice that involves touching points on your body that relax me. It only takes minutes to do these small things that truly make ourselves feel loved, honored and not worn out or the doormat. Only we can do things for ourselves in the unique way and timing that we need. No one else knows and we are woman so it changes rapidly.
Play with this practice and watch yourself and your beliefs come forward of "selfish", guilt, etccc. It is quite funny for who made those rules anyway? We know they don't work! Helping others can be a tremendous gift and really fill us up but only when we are doing it for the right reasons, overflow. This will truly make your day to day much brighter and happier!! Enjoy this practice!
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It all comes down to how our bodies where made to function. We can think whatever we want in our minds and develop whatever ideas there, but our feminine body, our container has rules of operating and how it functions best. Masculine and feminine is an important understanding when it comes the physical reality of our body. The difference is clear by visual looking. Emotionally as well. Mentally we run a good equal. Give a man and a woman the same project and we all know it will be done completely differently. Both will achieve wonderful results, but it will not be the same path.
Our bodies where not made to compete, hunt, and run fast. Even the emotionality of hunting does not suit woman and why men have a harder time with their emotions for it is part of the body they are in. Woman were bearing children, nourishing all, community building, healing, growing and feeding. Gatherers says it best. A much more peaceful, playful, easy, laid back energy of living and safety. The hunter and gatherer's story tells us much of our of physical body being.
Fast forward to modern times and what are woman doing mostly? Are they spending time doing these slower paced nourishing things? Or are they in a competitive, dog eat dog situation, running fast? Using our body this way creates illness for it is in an energy and hormones that does not bode well long term for our feminine body.We are not physically designed for this. It doesn't matter what we think about that or feel about it. It goes against the science of our body, so therefore we are not feeling so good on most levels.
We can handle living in modern times if we grasp a greater understanding of our bodies and stop trying to act and be like men. Knowing the difference in the energy and resetting ourselves to work in a way that works with our physical needs. We need to stop minding so much for our emotionality has a power and a brilliance beyond logic and reasoning. There is great purpose to the opposites, to the different bodies and ways of being. Just because we don't get it doesn't make it true. Science is finally treating us differently, something that ancient cultures and medicine did from the get go.We can accomplish the same tasks we do now but in a way that supports our natural physicality.
Woman get much accomplished using their own ways and whit. Woman have incredible powers of communication without words said. They have collaborative power bar none. They can run communities in their free time without batting an eyelash. It is their first nature, it is their gift, they need to claim and use it. Better yet, bring these powers into the business world to support and nourish rather than compete and back stab and win. .We play win win naturally unless we are in a field of competition.
Better health, less stress, correct use of the emotions all gifts when we really slow down, embrace our natural way and get out of the competitive race. Woman get things done in a way of magic through collaboration that is matched by nothing in business. When we power through toward our heart inspired goals, we can do 2 weeks of work in one day. We move in a chattery, connective way that defies logic and moves mountains. We need to use and embrace this magic power we have. It is our nature, it is programmed in us and it has incredible purpose.
That is why there is this surge of feminine power. The green movement, the local movements, even the coaching movement is all about nurturing and nourishing a larger world. The conscious business movement, even the Internet is all about connecting, collaborating, giving back and finding commonality in difference. Compassion and empathy forefront and natural to woman. When we own and embrace these very things within ourselves that are our nature, live them, put it all into practice in all pieces of our lives, we will get out of adrenal stress.
Woman can compete next to the best of them but it is not for the long haul. It is for a surge here and there that this is healthy. To live in this energy, in this way of being is very disastrous for our body. It is all around us and most are living it. I did too but when I learned, when I heard the so simple truths, I shifted myself about. Life became easier, less stressful and even in stress, I know of ways to move that would support my artistic, creative way. These soothe and heal us. It is why I support and teach the healing and expressive arts. These are ways that nourish, soothe, remind and calm us to the beauty and wonder we are. They give us the power to go on reminding us the value of slower, nourishing ways.
It doesn't really matter if our minds are on board. It is science, it is medicine and it is our history so obvious. We will figure it out sooner or later. I am about doing it now. Our world needs it. Woman need each other supporting and working together. When we realize our own truth about ourselves, there is no system as powerful as woman in unison. It is just the way it is.
Beauty and Grace through Pleasure and Play
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The "Room" at Meadowbrook
Lyn Hicks, Health and Beauty Coach, Published Author, Educator and Event Coordinator
at The Room At Meadowbrook in Ottsville, PA